Dear Willow
by Jane-By-Design-Lover
Summary: This is a letter to Willow from Jerome. I feel really bad for Jerome after last night's episode so I wrote this! -Rated T for mild language-


**Author's Note: So, I wrote this last night after the new episode. I just felt so bad for Jerome because he never got to tell them himself or how much he really does care for the both of them.**

Dear Willow,

I am so sorry for what I did. I never meant to hurt you or Mara. I wish you would've given me the chance to explain myself so maybe you wouldn't think I'm a huge ass, and I know that I am one, but I just wish that if you knew the whole story, then you wouldn't think as less of me as you do. I want you to know my side of the story. And, I know that this is pointless to write to you because if you didn't listen to me before then why would you read this letter now. But, I think you deserve to know the truth.

As you already know, Mara broke up with me because I ate all your food for your project. Just in case you were wondering, the reason why I did that was so that I could beat you and Mara. Because, I wanted to prove to Mara that I wasn't useless at everything. But, I don't think it would be right of me to write about my relationship with Mara to you, so I will just leave it at that.

That first day at detention...I want you to know that I'm not lying or trying to be cliche or sappy when I say that you made me feel like Mara never could. When I was with you I didn't have to prove anything to you. I didn't have to prove to you that I wasn't useless at everything I do. Because, even though I am useless at everything I do, you made me feel like I wasn't. When I was with you I could actually be myself. We put on silly costumes and joked around together. And, I can honestly say that I could never to that with Mara.

I'm not trying to say that I didn't like Mara, because I did. And, I'm not trying to say that was the only reason why I liked you. I liked you for so many reasons.

You're beautiful. And, I didn't even realize that until detention. I had never paid attention to the way your reddish-brown hair has a certain bounce to it. Or, how your smile lights up the room. But, most importantly; your eyes. Their sparkle. They were the thing that got me. Because, right before our first kiss, when I looked into your eyes, I knew I was a goner.

But, I know how bad that sounds because I know the old saying, "Looks aren't everything". And, I know it wouldn't be right to say that you are more beautiful than Mara. But, I feel like your eyes were one of the reasons why I liked you so much.

I guess you could say that you aren't like other girls. And, believe me when I say that's not a bad thing. You aren't like other girls and I admired that about you. Because, it meant you're not afraid to show people the real you. And, I just wish I was the same way.

And, I meant every one of those reasons because they are true and I still believe them. I still believe that you liked me for me. I still believe that you are beautiful. And, I still believe that you are true to yourself.

After that day in detention Mara told me she would take me back. And, I didn't tell her that I didn't want to get back together with her because I'd be lying if I said I didn't still have feelings for her. We had been through so much and it just didn't make sense to me to end it over something so silly. But, I told you it was over because I knew that if I told you we had gotten back together that nothing between us would happen. And, as wrong as it was I wanted so badly for something between us to happen. And, we kissed. And, you made all my worries go away, if only for a few hours. And, I know how lame that sounds but it's true.

Things were going so well for us and I knew that I was falling harder and harder for you. But, I still had feelings for Mara. And, I had no idea what to do. Then, Joy saw the spreadsheet. I know that was unbelievably wrong of me to do. To compare the both of you. I know that I'm such an idiot for doing it and I hate myself for it.

Joy threatened me and told me I had to tell both of you or she would. I didn't exactly know how to tell either of you because it wasn't something you'd just slip into a conversation. "Hey, Willow you look lovely today. By the way I'm cheating on you with Mara."

I wanted to tell you. I wanted to tell you so badly. But, I knew you would hate me. And, I know that you do.

I must admit, the whole revenge thing was just brilliant. You embarrassed me in front of everyone. And, I just want you to know that I didn't mean to fool you. And, then you told me it was over. So, congratulations Willow. You broke my heart.

And, I'm really so sorry. Because, I'm feeling what you felt. And, it's hell. I can't apologize enough. And, I know you won't forgive me. But, that's okay. Because, I don't deserve it.

I want you to know how I feel because I never got the chance to tell you. Believe me, I still care about you. But, I want you to know I love you. That I'm _in _love with you. I want you to know that I don't feel that way about Mara. I did. But, I don't anymore. I want you to know that I'll always have feelings for Mara, but they will never be as strong as my feelings for you. I don't think I'll ever stop being in love with you.

So, go ahead. Carry on with your life. Go date Alfie if you want. He likes you. A lot. But, not as much as I do. Forget about me. But, just so you know, I would've picked you.

Yours truly,

Jerome Clarke

**Author's Note: Hope you liked it! R&R!**


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